that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize