i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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