last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
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He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
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Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
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