I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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