i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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