He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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