so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
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I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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