it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
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I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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