Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I just saw a hot homeless man

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  (305): I just saw a hot homeless man http://tfl.nu/z026
  Replies (18) Good night (1115) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.

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  (281): I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/8oew
  Replies (144) Good night (9950) Bad night (655) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.

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  (801): Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room. http://tfl.nu/l3xg
  Replies (61) Good night (5156) Bad night (2180) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it

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  (774): i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it http://tfl.nu/c3d8
  Replies (45) Good night (3606) Bad night (699) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.

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  (352): He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number. http://tfl.nu/0dku
  Replies (7) Good night (747) Bad night (4327) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7

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  (207): I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7 http://tfl.nu/thj7
  Replies (14) Good night (6197) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"

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  (530): He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?" http://tfl.nu/zkkw
  Replies (6) Good night (1675) Bad night (2452) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.

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  (619): Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance. http://tfl.nu/l10e
  Replies (5) Good night (1292) Bad night (1114) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar

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  (702): As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar http://tfl.nu/w8o7
  Replies (10) Good night (2756) Bad night (493) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina

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  (914): I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina http://tfl.nu/2aox
  Replies (9) Good night (1176) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Pass the awkward sauce please.

  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm drowning in it here

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  (928): My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking. (308): Pass the awkward sauce please. (928): I'm drowning in it here http://tfl.nu/qbnt
  Replies (4) Good night (1427) Bad night (833)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed

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  (570): I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed http://tfl.nu/7vip
  Replies (3) Good night (424) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.

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  (803): High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice. http://tfl.nu/ko1b
  Replies (3) Good night (1026) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"

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  (407): I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry" http://tfl.nu/fy98
  Replies (4) Good night (448) Bad night (1057) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.

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  (816): We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it. http://tfl.nu/u2s4
  Replies (3) Good night (1111) Bad night (340)

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