Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
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they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
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He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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