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don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
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