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    (775): View more from Nevada

    She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex

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    Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (58) Order T-Shirt
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    (602): View more from Arizona

    I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!

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    Replies (6) Good night (361) Bad night (322) Order T-Shirt
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    (802): View more from Vermont

    This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.

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    Replies (2) Good night (59) Bad night (321) Order T-Shirt
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    (719): View more from Colorado

    Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.

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    Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt
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    (919): View more from North Carolina

    Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma

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    Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (86) Order T-Shirt
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    (302): View more from Delaware

    I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime

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    Replies (10) Good night (155) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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    (417): View more from Missouri

    I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...

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    Replies (2) Good night (82) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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    (651): View more from Minnesota

    Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.

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    Replies (3) Good night (210) Bad night (101)
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    (620): View more from Kansas

    We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.

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    Replies (2) Good night (285) Bad night (70) Order T-Shirt
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    (503): View more from Oregon

    I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.

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    Replies (3) Good night (400) Bad night (96) Order T-Shirt
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    (410): View more from Maryland

    Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.

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    Replies (6) Good night (1324) Bad night (225) Order T-Shirt
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    (212): View more from New York

    Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.

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    Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (113) Order T-Shirt
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    (850): View more from Florida

    I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.

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    Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (84) Order T-Shirt
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    (619): View more from California

    This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.

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    Replies (3) Good night (114) Bad night (240) Order T-Shirt
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    (306): View more from Saskatchewan

    we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.

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    Replies (6) Good night (753) Bad night (242) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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