Texts From Last Night

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(813): View more from Florida

ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday

(813): View more from Florida

Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.

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(813): ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday (813): Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun. http://tfl.nu/oehn

Replies (1) Good night (476) Bad night (122)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"

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(484): Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME" http://tfl.nu/xsgw

Replies (5) Good night (241) Bad night (556) Order T-Shirt
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(302): View more from Delaware

His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass

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(302): His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass http://tfl.nu/wy91

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(254): View more from Texas

Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table

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(254): Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table http://tfl.nu/xk9z

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(703): View more from Virginia

Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine

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(703): Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine http://tfl.nu/dwth

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water

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(701): I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water http://tfl.nu/kjo7

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(260): View more from Indiana

If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?

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(260): If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok? http://tfl.nu/erl3

Replies (2) Good night (883) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
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(231): View more from Michigan

I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.

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(231): I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it. http://tfl.nu/oche

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(305): View more from Florida

One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.

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(305): One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud. http://tfl.nu/ff3s

Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (150) Order T-Shirt
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(925): View more from California

It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.

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(925): It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day. http://tfl.nu/ynaj

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(419): View more from Ohio

I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.

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(419): I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck. http://tfl.nu/c5ir

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.

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(774): I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it. http://tfl.nu/ttfm

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(847): View more from Illinois

I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.

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(847): I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never. http://tfl.nu/n83d

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(647): View more from Ontario

He was the one that got away. From my vagina.

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(647): He was the one that got away. From my vagina. http://tfl.nu/504c

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot

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(608): Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot http://tfl.nu/1f93

Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt

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