Texts From Last Night

Texts from August, 2009

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!

  (434): View more from Virginia

  Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.

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  (540): Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like! (434): Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE. http://tfl.nu/nxwj
  Replies (8) Good night (755) Bad night (3401)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

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  (610): No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends. http://tfl.nu/ox60
  Replies (72) Good night (9922) Bad night (659)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?

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  (570): Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning? http://tfl.nu/o1k1
  Replies (39) Good night (3950) Bad night (1636) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.

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  (484): i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/ovq6
  Replies (55) Good night (800) Bad night (4360) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...

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  (978): guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out... http://tfl.nu/78da
  Replies (23) Good night (726) Bad night (5139) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  mom cant say that college never taught us math

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  (337): if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning? (1-337): 4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds (337): mom cant say that college never taught us math http://tfl.nu/a37s
  Replies (41) Good night (4173) Bad night (488)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how

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  (405): there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how http://tfl.nu/0o4u
  Replies (10) Good night (3629) Bad night (569) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.

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  (662): Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45. http://tfl.nu/maq6
  Replies (40) Good night (6333) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.

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  (214): Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada. http://tfl.nu/cunl
  Replies (200) Good night (7925) Bad night (2458)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.

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  (905): 9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey. http://tfl.nu/esjs
  Replies (17) Good night (610) Bad night (5029) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.

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  (601): they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell. http://tfl.nu/6mr7
  Replies (53) Good night (7807) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.

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  (404): Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle. http://tfl.nu/2aue
  Replies (16) Good night (3137) Bad night (1071) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.

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  (212): I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants. http://tfl.nu/n3gu
  Replies (50) Good night (5676) Bad night (1382) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.

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  (816): We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs. http://tfl.nu/qooi
  Replies (24) Good night (4537) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.

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  (434): question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0m41
  Replies (44) Good night (952) Bad night (5543)