Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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