You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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