You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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