Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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