you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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