think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
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He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize