you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize