hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize