i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she looked like the before picture.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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