we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
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homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
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I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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