kristin has been a bad kristin
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well I just put wine in my tea
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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