A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize