I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Do vagina's smell?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize