There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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