Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize