I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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