I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
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I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
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he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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