Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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