We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize