She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
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SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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