True but thats because hes a fetus.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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