Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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