Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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