You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize