we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize