Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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