You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize