mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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