is your mom at the bar?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize