covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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