I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
NoShamevember. You game?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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