I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
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Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
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It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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