i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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