He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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