my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I enjoy the company of your penis
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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