All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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