Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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