He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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