also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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